All this time
I drank you like the cure when maybe
you were the poison.
Longing is the agony of the nearness of the distant.
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.
Earth Apples: The Poetry of Edward Abbey (1994)
Let’s stop claiming that certain genders and sexualities “reinforce the gender binary.” In the past, that tactic has been used to dismiss butches and femmes, bisexuals, trans folks and our partners, and feminine people of every persuasion. Gender isn’t some faucet that we can turn on and off in order to appease other people, whether they be heterosexist bigots or queerer-than-thou hipsters. How about this: Let’s stop pretending that we have all the answers, because when it comes to gender, none of us is fucking omniscient.
Julia Serano, “Performance Piece,” from Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation Ed. Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman
“ If you love a flower, don’t pick it up, because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So, if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation. ”
This [fraternal] discourse posits a social relation between rational and autonomous subjects, who are ‘free’ subjects possessing equality in relation to other subjects. It constructs the universal citizen subject. Yet, as discussed earlier, the fraternal social bond is a relation between masculine subjects. The universal citizen subject is in fact a masculine subject that claims universality. Fraternity only recognizes a relation to other masculine subjects, that is, to those who are bourgeois, white, male. For example. that construction of the universal citizen can be seen in battles for universal suffrage; in France, the home of the Rights of Man, women did not gain the right to vote until 1944. Judith Butler points out that ‘“universality”, “equality”, “the subject of rights” have been constructed through unmarked gender and racial exclusions’. Paradoxically, the fraternal order produces an emancipatory discourse that a refusal of universal emancipation founds. In effect. the fraternal discourse is a universal that a non-universal founds.
Kirsten Campbell, Jacques Lacan and Feminist Epistemology
re: the death of the Father under capitalism creating a fraternal rather than patriarchal discourse
Self-care includes holding each other accountable because we are interconnected. Loving ourselves includes learning how not to harm each other. Loving ourselves includes disrupting violent patterns in our homes and community-building spaces.
Alexis Pauline Gumbs, quoted by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha in a transformative justice workshop at Hampshire (via riseabovethemadness)
Why can’t I try on different lives, like dresses, to see which fits best and is most becoming?
Invent me a word
that can encompass this ache,
‘missing’ is too small.
I am still at war with a battle
that is already lost.